Appalling Trend

Have noticed appalling trend. Am last "hurrah" prior to men settling into marriage or similar. Trend dates back 10+ years. Wonder. Is trend due to men's realization that a) single life not as remembered therefore time to settle or b) next relationship so much better then me decide to "put a ring on it." hmmmm

Case in Point. (This is a list of men I have kissed in last 10 years that I still get updates on, via facebook or mutual friends)

1. High School Sweat Heart #1 :: Married with kids*
2. High School Sweat Heart #2 :: Married with kids*
3. A Certain Ex :: 3+ years and Cohabitation
4. High School Crush :: Home Owners
5. Ex Accountant :: Married and preggers (possibly with kid by now)
6. Blue Eyed Blond :: Married
7. The Youngen' :: 3+ years
   
8. J :: 3+ years
9. Lumberjack :: unknown
10. RC :: has yet to have next relationship
11. The Newf :: within 3months of our encounter was flying girlfriend to NF to meet parents
12. Q :: father (this guy only needed to ask me out, next thing I heard he was a father to be, daughter born last week)

* to be fair both these guys did date one person between me and their now wifes, but c'mon I was only 16/17 when we dated!

Closing the Book on RC

Remember this guy?

RC

The boy who last year had me all twitterpated.

Steadily my interest has been falling. I waited for him to open up, to talk to me without needing some liquid courage. To even muster of the confidence to ask me for my phone number (or get it from our mutual friends...I'm not picky as to how he got procession of those 10 numbers).

He didn't.

After several kissing sessions I friended him on facebook.

After at least two (mostly platonic) sleepovers he still wasn't responding the way I had hoped. So I let him drift. He was just a friend and I? Well I was tangled up with the Lumberjack.

A few weeks ago there was a party.

RC came into town. I was months deep into a dry spell that had no end in sight (little did I know...). He was into the rye, I was enjoying some beers. The only other cute boy at the party just adopted a puppy with his gf (isn't that always the way). When the time came to go home, I invited him back to my apartment (this was rather more embarrassing then usual as my downstairs neighbour happened to be the cab driver who picked us up).

Things progressed as they are wont to do. Only it wasn't...well good.

It wasn't bad per se...but even in my beer soaked hadn't kissed a boy in months state, I knew it wasn't good.

We fell asleep. No pillow talk. No snuggling.

We woke up. He stated my dog snored (she does) I joked "so do you" (that at least got a little smile).

He dressed. Said he was going to go see what his buddies were up to.

No number exchange. No kiss goodbye.

Worst of all. He said "get away fucker" to Gaia, my 10lb puppy as she chased him around my room in the morning ecstatic to have someone new to play with.

That moment.

That moment there is when I realized, despite my previous desires this boy was not the boy for me.

Montreal

My weekend to Montreal was AH-mazing!

It started with a sunny Friday which made the idea of the 5.5 hour that much more bearable. I even got to ride shot gun! (PhD's bf got stuck in the back while she drove) As both PhD and I are, as they say, starving students, we bunked in at the bf's sisters house. The two other members of the trip (which included RC) took the train and were forced to stay in a $200 a night hotel (those boys have real jobs). Sister is the chef at a fantabulous restaurant, Cavalli, and was able to get us a last minute reso. And we dined.

Oh, how we dined.

Free bottle service. Free appitizers. Free pasta. Half price entrays. Free desserts (there were too delicious to turn down, even though I was stuffed to the brim!)

I could try to describe the oysters, tuna tar tar, octopus, tempura shrimp, truffle lace mac & cheese, lobster, seabass, creme brulee, and homemade icecream. But there is no way I do it justice. Just know that every bit was a magical taste sensation.

Worth every blister my poor feet sustained by strapping on last years sexy wedges for the first time.

I believe RC attempted his personal brand of hitting on me. However he may not have been, he is kind of ambiguous. Either way he was brushed off, poor awkward-around-girls guy.

The rest of the weekend included cheering for the Habs (which was remarkably like cheering for the leafs, but slightly more fun as we had clackers to make an obnoxious amount of noise.) and watching the UFC fights (which I have yet to decide if I dispise of am indifferent to).

There was very little site seeing which I will have to rectify the next time I make it to Canada's little piece of Europe.

Walk of Shame

In anticipation of a road trip of 6 that includes among other PhD, her BF (its his 29th!) and RC. I thought I share the story of why RC and I never made it past the making out on the couch portion of our relationship.

It was Christmas. There was a party at PhD's. Her BF kept my wine glass full.

RC and I stole kisses in the master bedroom as the evening progressed (I later swore to PhD that all 4 of our feet stayed on the ground at all times!).

As the night drew to a close RC convinced me it would be best if I went back to his place to sleep. I agreed.

However when we got there things didn't go as he had planned. After a few mintues of kissing we both passed out. And thats when things went downhill.

In the morning we were both a little worse for wear. He was more then a little. I attempted to snuggle. No reation. Not no movement, no sound, nothing. Eventually he mentioned he had a headache but refused my offer of advil. I improvised and ran my fingers through his hair. Again Nothing. No reaction. (I love it when someone runs their fingers through my hair!).

I decided it was time to go. As I was locating my belongings he asked:

"Do you want me to walk you out?" (yes)

"Its okay, you don't have to" (but you should)

He didn't and I walked up to meet my friends for breakfast alone.

The return

I have a new crush.

Or rather an old crush as returned. Remember RC?

After my summer of being unavailable to anyone and everyone and my fling with Lumberjack, RC was put on the back burner. But now he's back.

He is my friend PhD's bf's best friend (did you catch that?). And since PhD. moved to Toronto and conveniently lives down the street from RC I see him when I go visit her.

The first time was about a month ago. PhD, her bf, myself and a few others went to RC's place to watch the game. While there I noticed he has one of my all time favourite books on his shelf. (It's not one of those books that one sees all over the place.) The rest of the eveing I kept my eye on him and the old crush did not let me down.

Last time was just recently.

I was down in the city visiting PhD, as I do and that nights events included wine, as it usually does. After some shy talking and very grade school-esque ignoring each other, RC and I found ourselves alone on PhD's brand new $1 couch. Upon discovering this we began to make-out like bandits.

It was fun. Making out on the couch with PhD and her BF in there room (presumably sleeping). It felt very HS where we could be caught by someones parents at any moment.

Since I wasn't will to walk back to his place in the dark cold of 4am and he wasn't too keen to stay with me on the couch (no blame there, this is the house where an overly friendly lab likes to lick my face in the early am) the night ended there.

So RC is back in game.

"Spring" = Twitterpaition

I've waited to post this until I was less twitterpaited. Otherwise I may have declared my undying love for Mr. Rubik's Cube (RC). Hmmm. It seems I may have just done so anyway.


A couple of weeks ago I went to visit RC and my mutual friends. I had some business in the city in which they live, and it was PhD's bf's birthday. Perfect time for the second meeting.


I have to admit I was excited when I found out he was coming. I was extra excited when I found out he originally wasn't coming but changed his mind when he heard that I was.


Over the course of the weekend I found out more tid bits of info that mean he and I are meant to be. That's right I said it.



*For example, he's a Star Wars fan. I am too. There I said it out loud. I love Star Wars. Not in a dress-up-in-costumes-and-act-out-scenes kind of way but more of a I just-really-liked-the-movies-and-possibly-may-have-read-post-movies-books kind of way. Whereas the Ex Accountant needed me to "explain" the movies to him. Um, they're movies, that children understand.


*His last name and my last name begin with the same letter therefore if we get married (whoa who knew I could be 'this' girl?) my initials won't change. I am kind of partial to my initials over the course of the past 26 years I have developed a way of intertwining them that I enamored with.


*His parents live in a small town about a 1/2 hour from where my parents bought their future retirement home. Why is this important? Well I hate the idea of switching out holidays. As in this Christmas with the in-laws, next Christmas with my family. With everyone so close we can see both sides of the family ("the family" who is 'this' girl).


Clearly I am slightly crazy. I will blame it on the fact that spring and summer came and went in one week, and apparently winter is back. And he will never know about this ever. Because while I think its fine for me to list such important things, I would totally freak if I heard he was too.


Seeing as it had been 2 months since I had last seen him, and since summer is approaching, and come summer my schedule is "unpredictable." I decided something had to happen to move this little infatuation along. Throw into the mix, that he is the shyest guy I have come across in a long time and that PhD's house is a zoo (Seriously 5 people and 3 dogs!) well I had to take matters into my own hands.


The opportunity presented itself when he offered to walk me to bed. (Walk me to bed huh? All the way upstairs and down the hall, what a gentleman.) I accepted as it would be the first (an only) time we were alone all weekend. As we were standing at the door to the spare/my room he was looking at me in a way I was completely unable to read. And since I liked him and had had my share of delicious homemade wine that night I kissed him.


And...He spent the night with me.


We kissed some more, but didn't go farther then that. I can't when I really like someone, I need it to mean something. I need to know he wants to be with me not just with someone. And that was the look in his eyes I couldn't read.


Did he want to be with me? Did he want to see me again? Or did he just want to spend the night with me?


It's been 2 weeks and I still don't know.


That's right. The RC did not ask for my number. He did say I see you again since you're moving here now. (Which is true. I will most likely be moving to PhD's city, but not until September and I kind of wanted to see him before that). He may have tried to kiss me when we dropped him at the bus station. I can't be sure. I know I was going in for a check kiss so I may have thwarted his attempts.


All I get from PhD is that yes he likes me but a) he's shy (and here I thought I made it clear I liked him, maybe I didn't) and b) he apparently had a run in with a "mean girl."


Some of my friends think I should give up. And part of me thinks this is valid. I don't want to be with a guy whose too shy to ask for my number. I'm not worried about his "mean girl" from the past. I have also been damaged by boys who were less then careful with my heart. And he is the first guy in 3 years (yes 3 years) that I have been this interested in.


Maybe I'll get to know him better and the infatuation will go away, or maybe it will grow. Maybe I'll one day be Mrs. RC or maybe I'm setting my heart up for more damage.


Most of the fun is waiting to see how it plays out ;o)

"The Good Boy"

The Right Wrong Boy

Or I suppose the Good Bad Boy.

That is what I think I'm looking for. Easy to find?

Nope.

See the problem is that I am attracted to the Wrong/Bad boy. ( I stubbornly refuse to call them men, at least until they start acting like men). I like to overly confident cocky type guys. You know those guys that walk the walk and talk the talk. I like to knock them down a few pegs (gently of course). In the way that makes them take notice, the guys that never had to work for girls and suddenly do. Think teenage romantic comedies where the popular quarterback falls for the slightly geeky but still cute unpopular girl (In this scenario that girl is me).

It's not that I don't like the "good boys". I just have never dated a "good boy." I think I may be too much for them. I used to be shy, almost painfully so. But now I've found that being shy doesn't get you what you want, what is does get you is a reputation for being aloof (fancy word for bitchy). So I'm overcoming/overcame it.

Maybe it's a late 20's thing, but I like science geeky self and refuse to be someone I'm not. And the person I am is sometimes loud, opinionated, and very well aware of what I want out of a relationship. By being "well aware" I mean as well as any single girl who's frightened of commitment is aware. Or well more accurately being abandoned after committing.

I happened to come across one such "good boy" in my travels, the other weekend. Unbelievably he is both single, and older then me. You know age starts becoming a problem, when one of your bestie's asks "And how old is this one?" The emphasis old. I could just see Kyfa cringing on the other end of the phone waiting for my standard reply of well, I think he's about....21, but you know a very mature 21. However now worries this time, this one will be turning 28 sometime this calender year.

He's cute, has a good job, has an apartment downtown, as in doesn't live with his parents (double standard I know, but seriously, both of us can't live with are parents!), he plays guitar (well) and get this, can solve Rubik's Cube puzzles. Seriously. I watched. Then I messed it up a little and tried to solve it myself. However in the process of "solving" the puzzle I muddled it up in a way that was seemingly hopeless. That is until I handed it over, and in about 5 minutes, he had all those frustrating little square of colour back on their respective sides.

It was this feat solely that cemented this crush. Therefore should we one day be married, I have a wonderful little anecdote for the wedding! The trick now is get this "good boy" to stiffen his back bone and ask me out!

This "good boy" does have drawbacks and they include.

(a) He lives downtown, as in TO. I currently live 2 hours from there. That can make casual dating difficult, as one of us has to drive 2 hour for said fictional dates.

(b) When I say "one of us" I mean me, as he doesn't own a car. (This however is perfectly acceptable in the metropolis of Toronto, so more of an annoyance, then a real drawback)
(c) I met him through a good friend. Warning Cynical thoughts: Should things progress to a certain point, but then fizzle or worse crash, I may have to run into him again. Seeing as I already have 2 exes I'm obligated to see, I don't really want another. On the other hand, seeing as I already have 2 exes I'm obligated to see, what's one more?
(d) He hasn't actually asked me out. (I have it on good authority, it's not because "He's just not that into me" as he told my friend's boyfriend that he was into me)

As it stands now, there is no immediate future plans to see him again. Our mutual friend, Shki, does not live close to either of us, but has promised to casually mention me when she does see him.