Balls on the Floor

I am feeling suffocated under the pressure of school. I am constantly wondering if I made the right decision to go back. The pro and con list seems to be overwhelming filled with cons. These cons are only of the short term variety as in:

• Utter lack of money
• Constant pressure to preform
• Squelching of personal life and free time
• Mini panic attacks experienced on a daily basis
• Fear of failure
• Overwhelming worry of disappointing those that have put potentially misguided faith in my abilities as an academic.
• My extremely inappropriate way in which I handle stress...stay in bed and hope it goes away - yes I know this never works but some days getting out of bed is the hardest thing I do.
• General nausea
  

The pros, well they seem either a long way off of very small in comparison:

• I am not living in the middle of nowhere working at a job with limited potential for advancement
  
• Higher paying fulfilling job (potentially)
  

Nonetheless the paralyzing fear that in actually I am not smart enough for this program is constantly on my heels. Add the fact that my Teaching Assistantship is for a class of which I have very limited prior knowledge of and that knowledge is 4 years old leaves me feeling unprepared to pass judgment and award grades to students.

I have too many balls in the air. Too many balls means balls on floor not balls in the air.