Lost my Mind

Last night I discovered that I might have lost my mind.

My dear friend PhD and family left on an amazing adventure to Portugal. Mr and Mrs PhD are taking the entire family and PhD’s boyfriend on an all expenses paid trip. Its going to be amazing, much more memorable then a standard all inclusive trip to the Dominican.

Between them this family owns 5 dogs.

I agreed to watch 4 of them for 2 weeks.

4 dogs.

2 weeks.

1 girl.

That 1 girl is me by the way. Me, who is having trouble keeping her plant alive. I’m really hoping that at the end of this 2 week period, all 5 of us are alive and well.

The dogs are:

Taj: 5 year old Black Lab that is certain that every meal is will be his last and is under the impression that the faster he eats the greater the possibility is that he will get more. He is wrong.

Barrett: 4 year old Golden Retriever that suffers intimacy issues and is only happy if he’s breathing on you.

Tika and Sophie: 6 month old beagles who have unending energy.

Upon arriving at the house (I am of course moving in to Mr and Mrs PhD’s as these dogs would destroy my shoebox attic apartment) the place was a zoo. The four dogs, who had been confined to a small area of the house, began running around, wrestling, jumping, barking, chewing. I let them outside as quickly as possible. And that when I learned something about training hunting dogs...

Out by the back door are 2 chewed up, frozen deer legs.

Deer legs.

Gross.

Of course the dogs desperately want to bring them indoors. Yech.

Thank God it’s still winter and they are frozen. As much as I want spring to come early it can wait to be above zero for the next 2 weeks. I do not want to deal with thawed deer limbs.

The second thing I learned is that while the dogs can run around outside for more then a half hour and bark like crazy to get back in…this does not mean that they did their “business.”

How do I know this?

While enjoying Desperate Housewives, I fancied some wine. Entering the kitchen I smelled a unpleasant odour.

Poop.

There was poop on the floor by the door.

I quickly ushered all the dogs back outside and dealt with the mess. I know based on its size that it was not as might be expected one of the puppies, but one of the full grown dogs.

Unlike my childhood dog who would look guilty before you knew she’d done something none of these dogs seemed even slightly ashamed.

So in my first evening of dogsitting I had dealt with a disremembered deer and poop.

Today I’m exhausted, as I do not sleep well in other peoples beds, nor am I accustomed to the sounds dogs make in the night. I am especially not used to having a large Golden Retriever climb into bed with me in the middle of night. In my sleepy daze I could not muster a very commanding “Down” so up he stayed.

Tonight I get to do it all again. If I haven't already lost my mind...I expect that sometime over the next two weeks I will.