Selfish. Childish. Self Absorbed. Bad Friend.
That's how I feel.
Remember my friend PhD? How told me she and her bf were thinking about trying for kids in the fall? Well she pushed the date up. A. Lot.
Clearly she had misrepresented her desire to have children to me over the past few months when in reality she wanted one now. As in yesterday. I only discovered this while spending time with our our mutual friend who has one 8month old and another one on the way.
Turns out that my friends are all incredibly fertile and she is indeed preggers. Now. As in due this February. (I should note that my girlfriends have always been rather lax about birth control. And the fact that they never had an unplanned pregnancy is amazing).
As I said before, I am happy for her, but everything is baby. Literally everything. The woman is opening a Maternity Studio. I'm hearing about how tired she is. How big her boobs are getting, how sore they are. How her brother, whom she lives with (she owns a house with her younger sibs) is not adjusting. How he may have to move out or give up his dog (granted the dog is not great with kids, but her dog will also have to adapt) and he is not adjusting.
I'm struggling with my own problems. I'm trying to adjust to the fact that I may be falling for a guy who does not want kids. That babies may not be in the future for me (it is something I am steeling myself for and not soley because of Lumberjack, there are a whole host of reasons).
I suppose I should be happy that I have such fertile friends. I'll have many neices and nefews to spoil in the years to come. But in the meantime I'm feeling lost. Left behind. Selfish.
Don't feel guilty for feeling down. Because then that's one more emotions you have to deal with.
ReplyDeleteYou feel like shit, work on that emotion.
You can adopt later in life! Skip the whole diapers and crying that comes along with baby's - go straight to toddler hood.. like I did with M! :)
ReplyDeleteFocus on yourself for a bit! And don't feel like a bad friend. You are a great friend. One of the best I've ever had. You can be happy for her and not happy about the whole situation at the same time.
And she needs to remember to be a good friend to you at the same time.
35 is the magic number - that's when you start thinking about kids and the sort! Do some traveling... be a scientist... find a sugar daddy... you have options!
or do you not really want kids at all??
ReplyDeleteI found your blog via another blog linked to another blog. It's good, I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how much adoption costs where you are but conservative estimates in Australia are around $30k - and that's without trips to the child's home country so they don't feel disassociated with their roots.
Assuming adoption from overseas is viable in the first place?
I don't envy you the decisions but I appreciate you sharing the thought process. Just wanted to say that.
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