Hindsight

They say that hindsight is 20/20. And I think that they are right. As I look back on the year 2007, there are somethings I am not proud of. Things I don't like to even admit to myself. However there are good things too. This was a year of 2 steps forward and 1 step back.




I finally found that job I've been questing after to 3 years, only to be bored and frustrated by it at the moment (or maybe a little less the job and more the people, yeah its the people). It's also frustrating that said dream job does not quite pay a wage that would let me live in my own place own my car and from time to time go out for fun. So I am living in my childhood bedroom, in the town I worked so hard to get out of. More frustrating is that while my 2 of my good friends did move back to Canada one is in Calgary, and the other is in Toronto (who I can luckily usually see at least once a month), but my friends here in town, have suddenly it seems become grown-ups. All are married or engaged, and all have small children or have recently announced pregnancies. And all seem to forget that I have moved back to town regardless of the fact that I have been here for 8 months now. They throw dinner parties. And I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't be so easily forgotten if I was part of a couple.




Its a weird time of life to suddenly look around and notice I am the last single person I know. No more nights out with the girls, on the prowl for the next hot guy in your life. They've all found theirs. And now I have no wing-woman. I also live in Bala a lovely town of 500 where I've either known every guy here since we were two, or already dated them, or have dated their best friends. One of my resolutions is to start dating again...somehow. I may be enticed to try the whole internet dating thing. I know it seems desperate, but I know two couples who hooked up that way. But then again, while the thought of a serious relationship seems comforting one minute, makes me feel absolutely claustrophobic the next.




Maybe that's why relationships are things you enter into gradually. Well most people do...are at least I do. I like my independence. I like it a lot. I hate having to ask people for help. Hate Hate Hate. It might be more that I'm afraid of asking and getting 'No' for an answer. But I suppose, in the past, that was me asking the wrong person.




This year in 2008, many of my resolutions are repeats of last year (The one step back). And some are more forward thinking, like taking this job and making it work for me, so I can get THE job that allows me an appartment, my car, some savings and a little fun money - a single girl always deserves her fun money!