This has been my mandate for the year 2008. Sometimes this is remarkably easy to do. Other times, nearly impossible.
The entire premise is based upon the fact that we have the tendency to see the worst in people, expect the worse, and in general assume bad things are going to happen to you. Basically you end up sweating the small stuff that really there is no reason to worry about. I mean why worry about something that might not ever happen? Or why let a bad mood ruin an otherwise wonderful night with friends? I know I have. Once I’m down in the dumps it can be hard to get out of, it’s so horribly easy to dwell on the bad stuff and then let it snowball out in disproportionately gigantic, implausible "what ifs".
So instead I choose to not worry. To not dwell. To remove myself from situations, that makes that impossible. Take a deep breath and remember the feeling I had zooming down Big Mountain over my NYE holiday.
It all sounds so very Zen, and grown-up. I pat myself on the back at how responsible and enlightened I have become. Why to go Me!
And yet, I am not on speaking terms with one of my co-workers (I don't know why, but my iPod gets me through the day). I still choose the wrong men (sometimes I even choose the same wrong man repeatedly). I still dream incessantly that my real life will start any day now.
Maybe the first step is to realize I have control of how I feel on a day to day basis. Then you work on making decisions that allow to just be happy, not to have to choose to be happy.
However this new ablitly of mine. It really does work wonders. I smile a lot more. And who doesn't want to smile more?
it's hard to just be happy. but take comfort in knowing that ever other woman we know is crazy too... and i love you!
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