It's been 10 days...

We've been part for a month. But it's been 10 days with no communication. That's 3x as long as we ever went without talking in 3 years. 

I asked for it. I said I wasn't ready to be friends. How could I be?

But now no one asks how my day was.  No one laughs at my silly dog with me. No one cares if I send my evenings watching TV. 

Stuck

I find myself stuck between wishing he’d stop all this silliness and realize what we had was special and good and worth keeping and just come home to me. And wishing I could be angry at him, that I didn’t miss him with such intensity.

I want better. I want trust and a real partnership. I don’t trust myself not to take him back.

But its cold and its quiet and I had forgotten what real loneliness is.