She was happy. Bright. Confident. Going places. Things were not going to stand in her way. The future spread out ahead with limitless possibilities. School. Career. Boys. Men. Husband. Girlfriends. Aunt. Children. She planned on making a difference. Making the world a brighter place for the next generation.
She is lost. Trapped somewhere. Screaming to get out.
For years the ebb and flow of depression has been on the periphery. Never in complete control always pushed under. Let out at night alone under the cloak of darkness. Now the tide is high.
Insecurity. Guilt. Anxiety. Worthlessness. Worst of all engulfing loneliness has replaced the joy that lit her blue eyes. The days march on blurring together. Every sunset bringing afresh wave guilt as the endless to do list continues to grow with nothing checked off.
The bright girl looks out from her prison unable to recognize the shambles that has become a reality.
The dishes pile in the sink. Laundry in the basket. Paper s unfinished. Calls unanswered. Friendships left dangling; the energy it takes to hide the internal darkness is too much to bear.
The bright girl. The shining girl. She screams.
Sometimes you can hear her.