Weekend Update

This past weekend was a very eventful one. a la bullet.

• I got my hair done.
  
• Wrote a paper until 2:30am at my parents house on Friday night.
  
• Finished a baby present minutes before leaving for the shower.
  
• Got "lost" on the way to the shower (by lost I mean I missed my exit and subsequent exits not realizing until I was started down a looooong stretch of highway with no way to turn around, yet another reason not to talk on a cell phone while driving).
  
• Arrived at the shower in time for the food!
  
• Missed the present opening entirely.
• Got text from interent date saying he had a good time
• Called to confirm evenings engagement party plans.
• Learned that I was unable to get ready with my girlfriends b/c both Ex Accountant (plus fiance) and Lumberjack were to be at R&R's
• Make alternate plans to arrive at party alone which involve an extremely long time on public transit.
• Arrive at PhD's in time for food! (PhD was not attending this party, different groups of friends but gladly put me so I didn't have to sleep on the street as Ex Accountant took my usual place at R&R's)
  
• Put on fashion show for girls not going to party and their bfs to decide the most appropriate dress to make ex's feel like they made a HUGE mistake.
• Arrive at party "fashionably" late
• Feel no need to talk to Ex Accountant (if he wants to pretend I never exisited so can I)
• See Lumberjack and avoid joining conversations he apart of but try to do it so he doesn't acutally feel like I'm avoiding him on purpose...not sure if I pulled this off
• Talk to Lumberjack after he sits down next me with no awkwardness
• General laugher drinking and dancing abound
• Plans to leave early were foiled as it was suddenly time to go
• Share cab with 4 others including Lumberjack
• Hold hands sneakily with Lumberjack on way home
• Turn Lumberjack down when he invites me up to his hotel room. (self control...I haz it) opting instead to sleep on a couch
• Wake up tired but not hung over with 2 voicemails from Lumberjack (apparently the dress did work!)
• Return home to unsucessfuly write another paper for school
• Email prof at 5 am to say I was sick all night and would not make it to class
• Get extension on paper (guilty face)

Will not be bitter

I know it may have sounded like I said no to men. But really I was trying to get away from the negative feelings I had toward relationships. It just feels sometimes that relationships come so easy to some of my friends. Where they don't for me. I even watch guys I know to be decent guys putting up with their crazy girlfriends. Time and time again.

I know we all have a bit of "The Crazy." Sometimes we can control it and sometimes we can't. Sometimes you just have to stick up for yourself. What I considered sticking up for myself has, it seems, been seen by the men I've been dating as craziness. I personally think I'm justified in telling a guy he's pissed me off (in a calm, matter of fact kind of way). I also think that it is better then not telling him and letting it stew. However it seems that this can possibly make more you trouble then your worth.

So after years of this I had begun to feel that there were no quality guys left. You know the ones I mean. Guys who are interested in me as a person. Guys who want to (not forced to) meet my friends. Guys who want to meet my family, escort me to weddings, introduce me to their friends and family, make me part of their lives.

I was losing hope. I could feel the bitterness creeping on the edges. I hate talking to bitter girls and do not want to become one.

So how does one avoid such a fate?

I joined an on-line dating community.

(gasp!?!)

It seems desperate. But I know numerous couples who have met online. I expect its going to become more popular as our lives continue to get busier and technology becomes even more intertwined (is that even possible?) with our daily lives.

I have to say the ego boost was immediate. I try to reply to everyone who emails me. As long as they say something more then, "Hi, you're cute." even if I'm not interested.

I wanted reassurance that there are indeed some nice guys still available. While I'm not expecting to meet my soul mate/future husband/long term bf (although I suppose it is a possibility) I'm more looking for a way to jump back into the dating scene.

So tonight I had coffee with a guy I met on the internet. It was a little weird. But he looked like his pics so we talked, we laughed, he paid for my coffee, and walked me to my car. He even asked for my number at the end of the night.

I hadn't been out on a date for a very long time (Lumberjack doesn't count...). It was nice to dress up, put on make-up and perfume...I even shaved my legs (you don't even want to know how long its been ....).

If he calls, great, if not, there are plenty more where he came from.

It's Research I Swear!

As part of my duties as a graduate student I provide services as a Teaching Assistant (or TA as we are ‘lovingly’ known as). The class I TA for this semester is Environmental Carcinogenesis (which is a class concerned with how the environment can give you cancer). I feel smart saying that I’m the TA for EC. My background however is in Biology and Environmental Studies (light on the Bio, heavy on the ES). I have a total of 2 classes of Biochem. Yet I was deemed the most appropriate person for the job (they must have been desperate).

All in all it’s not overly hard. I some marking and I have to lead a few discussions on specific papers they were to read. In order for me to lead such discussions I must not only read the papers but must understand them (!).

No problem. I’ll read with Wikipedia near by. Wikipedia knows the answer to everything. Sure enough I come across numerous words I can’t comprehend. I innocently enter a word for a an affliction in male newborns.

Maybe the specification of male newborn should have warned me to what was coming.

I push enter and up pops a penis on my computer screen.

(one might expect a diagram, not a full colour photograph)

I gasp, then giggle and then immediately shut up.

The last thing I need is my office mate to turn around to see what is causing the commotion only to find me browsing porn in the afternoon.

Stifling giggles the whole time I discover what I need know.

Now in case you curious as to the nature of this affliction please consult you own Wikipedia for Hypospadia.

Men. Men. Men.

I hate it when I start to feel that the only thing we/I talk about is men, relationships or the lack thereof. I feel like I'm an independent type girl..er...woman (I mean I've been living on my own for the last 7 years and have managed to keep myself alive). I have a serious quiet side that is prominent during school days, and I have a fun silly let loose side that pops out once in awhile when I'm with my good friends.

I used to feel like I would make a great girlfriend, and most days I still do. But now I'm not so sure that is necessarily what I want. Sure I want someone to be my "Best Friend with Benefits" I want someone to share my life with, good times and the bad, I may even want to start a family one day (!) But I don't want to deal with all the games.

And dating, my friends, is all about the games.

Even if you don't think you're playing you are.

Take Lumberjack, who I haven't heard from since the hairy legs incident (well he did call the day after with a cursory, I had a good time blah blah blah). I've reached a conclusion that I somehow disappointed him by "giving in" to him. That he in fact, wanted me to say no. Or this could be my female mind working overtime and the truth is that he is just a flake who bailed.

I may never know...or maybe I'll find out in 2 weeks as he may or may not be in attendance at an engagement party of our mutual friends (my mute Ex Account has RVSP's yes...so the night may be more interesting then I want).

What else brought this on?

He's Just Not That Into You. I watched it over the weekend and was disappointed. I was hoping for another Love Actually type movie, something that is inspiring and the proves that love exists in many forms. Instead I found it kind of insulting. Like as a women my only goal in life is to get married. It seemed to reinforce stereotypes that I can't possibly be happy or fulfilled without a guy (Okay, one lady ended up being the better off alone type) Aside from the basic points included in the book:

If he's not:

• calling you
• marrying you
• sleeping with you

he's just not that into you.

All of which seem so very obvious when you're not in the midst of said relationship. I was disheartened and turned off the dating scene entirely.

*ahem*

So here to focusing on the task at hand. School and surviving this hellish month otherwise known as March.