Lumberjack and I are finished.
I'm actually surprised at how Okay I am. For the first time I told someone I was dating that their behaviour had upset me. I know its crazy that I had never done that before (at least not calmly....). But I haven't. I've always been afraid of their reaction. I've always thought they would react, well, just like Lumberjack did.
How did Lumberjack react?
Well his reply was "long distance is difficult," (like I wasn't aware of that) "this is the best I can do," (seriously....the BEST you can do) "maybe it would be better if you date someone locally." (at least that's not ambiguous).
He said he would call me later so we could finish our conversation. That was 2 weeks ago. I think I'm pretty safe that call is not coming.
Oddly enough this episode made me feel better about speaking up, not worse. In the past I have always let these things build until they either come exploding out at inopportune times or just wear away on my self esteem. This way I was able to say my piece and gave him a chance to say his. I was expecting more of an apology for leaving in the middle of the night and then not calling for a week. I wasn't expecting the end of a relationship that had barely gotten off the ground.
But there you have it. I am single once again, approaching the holiday season closely followed by a wedding that my plus one, is more then likely to be a plus zero.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Charred
Last night I burned my dinner. Technically I burned my dinner for the next few days and I was trying to be proactive by making a large pot of pea soup that I could reheat for the rest of the week and have a quick nutritious meal so I wouldn't end up eating pudding. (I absolutely did not eat pudding for dinner last Monday night).
I came home from a massive and much needed grocery shop and while putting the hoards of food away I started the soup. My recipe is very simple however there is a twist...it takes about 2 hours of simmering on the stove for the little hard peas to get to their deliciously mushy edible state (its seriously IS delicious). I started the water boiling, added the peas, the onion, the ham, and the spices and left it to bubble while I sorted all the new goodies. Then I cut up the carrots and potatoes to be added about 1/2 hour before the soup is done.
My attic apartment was getting decidedly steamy by the time I went back to the endless amount of work I have. I was thinking how wonderful my apartment would soon start smelling as the soup simmered on the stove.
No sooner had I settled down in front of my computer did I notice the "steam" had more of a smoky look to it. Heading back to the kitchen my nose catches the distinct smell of smoke. Looking at the soup I was puzzled, it looked fine. At that moment my smoke alarm agreed with my nose:
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Running back to my living room I fan the device with a throw pillow until the screeching stops. Silently praying that my neighbours can't hear the sound. I go back to the kitchen and move the soup off the element, thinking that some must have slopped over onto the red hot metal...
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Back to the living room. Fan with through pillow. Silence. Run to closet to get the fan to blow fresh air on the smoke alarm in an attempt to keep the thing quiet. By now there is no mistaking the smoke lingering in the air. And linger is it will, as in order to ensure some sort of energy efficiency the windows in my apartment were sealed shut about 3 weeks ago. I open the only window I can, the bathroom, despite the -4C temperature outside.
In the kitchen again I inspect the soup. Still looks good to me. Experimentally I insert a spoon into the pot. Everything seems good - oh WAIT.....I pour the soup into my only other largish pot....The bottom of the first pot is positively caked with charred green peas. I have never seen anything quite like it.
Apparently it is very important to stir the soup fairly continually so the peas don't stick to the bottom and burn.
In my desperation as a starving student I attempt to salvage the meal. I add immense amounts of basil, pepper, salt and dill (only because it was just sitting there on top of the stove, and well my soup needed whatever it could get) to try and mask the unmistakable charred flavour. It worked....sort of.
I am going to eat this soup, because as mentioned I am a student and am still waiting for my student loan to come through and currently have $6.45 in the bank (no word of a lie) and this dinner had about $7 of ham it it. (maybe I'll just pick the ham and the veggies out....)
So tonight I am heading home to leftover burned pea soup, and an apartment that undoubtedly still smells like burning, and a pot still caked in charred peas that I left soaking in a vain hope that by soaking for 24hrs it will magically be clean.
I came home from a massive and much needed grocery shop and while putting the hoards of food away I started the soup. My recipe is very simple however there is a twist...it takes about 2 hours of simmering on the stove for the little hard peas to get to their deliciously mushy edible state (its seriously IS delicious). I started the water boiling, added the peas, the onion, the ham, and the spices and left it to bubble while I sorted all the new goodies. Then I cut up the carrots and potatoes to be added about 1/2 hour before the soup is done.
My attic apartment was getting decidedly steamy by the time I went back to the endless amount of work I have. I was thinking how wonderful my apartment would soon start smelling as the soup simmered on the stove.
No sooner had I settled down in front of my computer did I notice the "steam" had more of a smoky look to it. Heading back to the kitchen my nose catches the distinct smell of smoke. Looking at the soup I was puzzled, it looked fine. At that moment my smoke alarm agreed with my nose:
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Running back to my living room I fan the device with a throw pillow until the screeching stops. Silently praying that my neighbours can't hear the sound. I go back to the kitchen and move the soup off the element, thinking that some must have slopped over onto the red hot metal...
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Back to the living room. Fan with through pillow. Silence. Run to closet to get the fan to blow fresh air on the smoke alarm in an attempt to keep the thing quiet. By now there is no mistaking the smoke lingering in the air. And linger is it will, as in order to ensure some sort of energy efficiency the windows in my apartment were sealed shut about 3 weeks ago. I open the only window I can, the bathroom, despite the -4C temperature outside.
In the kitchen again I inspect the soup. Still looks good to me. Experimentally I insert a spoon into the pot. Everything seems good - oh WAIT.....I pour the soup into my only other largish pot....The bottom of the first pot is positively caked with charred green peas. I have never seen anything quite like it.
Apparently it is very important to stir the soup fairly continually so the peas don't stick to the bottom and burn.
In my desperation as a starving student I attempt to salvage the meal. I add immense amounts of basil, pepper, salt and dill (only because it was just sitting there on top of the stove, and well my soup needed whatever it could get) to try and mask the unmistakable charred flavour. It worked....sort of.
I am going to eat this soup, because as mentioned I am a student and am still waiting for my student loan to come through and currently have $6.45 in the bank (no word of a lie) and this dinner had about $7 of ham it it. (maybe I'll just pick the ham and the veggies out....)
So tonight I am heading home to leftover burned pea soup, and an apartment that undoubtedly still smells like burning, and a pot still caked in charred peas that I left soaking in a vain hope that by soaking for 24hrs it will magically be clean.
Friday, November 7, 2008
1 week later...
The lumberjack called last night and left a message:
"Hey its Lumberjack, I'm just finishing the worst week of my life and am driving to Toronto. Give me a call" [then he left his number, like he thinks I've already forgotten?]
I didn't call right away. I wanted to make sure I had my thoughts together and was mentally prepared to actually tell him what I needed. It may not sound hard to do, but for me, the eternal peacekeeper, I like to see other people happy and at times this comes at my expense.
When I did call, he didn't answer. Very anti-climatic I know. I didn't leave a message. He has call display.
And whats with "the worst week of my life." Am I now supposed to feel guilty because I was mad at him? Does this excuse him from his bad behaviour? Shouldn't he have wanted to talk to me during this bad week?
I didn't have the best week myself: My beloved computer got a virus. Luckily I quickly realized I was inept at fixing this problem, and took it to the professionals. Four days and $80 later I got it back. I bounced my rent cheque. Not good. Not good at all. Luckily I think I realized this before my landlord and was able to provide a new cheque that will clear before they had to ask me about it. Unfortunately I got charged $42 for Insufficient funds. (which for someone who didn't have the money to clear the original cheque can't really afford). So now I have exactly $105.36 in my bank account to last me until Nov 28th when I will receive another paycheque too small to cover rent.
Student loans here I come.
Also during my bad week the boy I was hoping to possibly turn into a bf disappeared off the face of the Earth.
"Hey its Lumberjack, I'm just finishing the worst week of my life and am driving to Toronto. Give me a call" [then he left his number, like he thinks I've already forgotten?]
I didn't call right away. I wanted to make sure I had my thoughts together and was mentally prepared to actually tell him what I needed. It may not sound hard to do, but for me, the eternal peacekeeper, I like to see other people happy and at times this comes at my expense.
When I did call, he didn't answer. Very anti-climatic I know. I didn't leave a message. He has call display.
And whats with "the worst week of my life." Am I now supposed to feel guilty because I was mad at him? Does this excuse him from his bad behaviour? Shouldn't he have wanted to talk to me during this bad week?
I didn't have the best week myself: My beloved computer got a virus. Luckily I quickly realized I was inept at fixing this problem, and took it to the professionals. Four days and $80 later I got it back. I bounced my rent cheque. Not good. Not good at all. Luckily I think I realized this before my landlord and was able to provide a new cheque that will clear before they had to ask me about it. Unfortunately I got charged $42 for Insufficient funds. (which for someone who didn't have the money to clear the original cheque can't really afford). So now I have exactly $105.36 in my bank account to last me until Nov 28th when I will receive another paycheque too small to cover rent.
Student loans here I come.
Also during my bad week the boy I was hoping to possibly turn into a bf disappeared off the face of the Earth.
Stashed Under:
Boys make me pull out my hair,
Lumberjack
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