I have finally deleted A Certain Ex from my cell phone.
In a moment of strength I realized enough was enough. And while in the past his number had proven invaluable to me, that is no longer true. There will always be another way, someone else, someone better to call.
In the past month I have come to realize the man who meant the world to me for 4 years is no longer that man. He is hardly a shadow of that man. For four years we dated and it went from fabulous to much less then not good. For four years after that we, well I don’t know what we were really. For a while we were nothing. I was in another serious relationship, but when that relationship ended he was there for me when my girlfriends couldn’t be.
I now think he took advantage of me while I was fragile and lonely. I don’t think it was his intention, but it was the outcome.
In a way I still loved him. I suppose a part of me will always love the man he used to be, and our unwritten fairytale.
But I’m growing up, and as they say its time to put away childish things.
So to avoid unnecessary temptation he has been removed from my cell phone, and therefore my life, if not in a physical way, the most literal way I can.