Gimp

Last night was my regular soccer night out.

I've been pretty proud of myself for not getting any injuries such as bruises in the last few weeks...I get so many bruises.

However last night I got kicked in the ankle. It hurt, that kind of vibrating hurt that stays with you for a while. But seeing as my team only had two girls last night, and we're required to have 2 girls on the pitch at all times, I kept on playing. Honestly it didn't feel bad. Just that bit of vibration, but I could rotate the ankle all around with no pain. So I finished the game and thought nothing of it.

This morning.

Before I was even up, my ankle was hurting. Enough that it kept waking me as I moved in my sleep. So now I'm all limping and looking at my regular 10 hour Wednesday night shift. hmmm.

I want to work. Wednesdays are my favourite shift...for cute boy reasons and money reasons.

So instead of going to the Laundromat I'm going to rest my ankle before work. I do have to hit up Zellers so I can buy some kind of ice and a brace so I make it through the 10 hour shift.

Seriously though...all this from a kick in the ankle that didn't even really hurt at the time.

Good On Paper Guy

Last Thursday night I had my date with Mr. Valentine. Who has turned out to be infamous Good-On-Paper Guy from the old epitome of singleness, Sex and the City.

He's a High School English Teacher, coach's girls hockey, owns a house, a car, plays hockey, likes to read. So many things that I think I'm looking for, but there's none of that excited I can't wait to see him pit of your stomach butterflies feeling.

Attraction.

Why is it so hard. Why can't we be attracted to who we want to be.

I don't know if I'll go out with Mr. Valentine again. I don't know if its fair to maybe lead him on, as I'm not attracted, or if attraction will grow in time.

The only problem with the date was the end. He walked me to my car and told me to call him if I wanted. When did it become the girls job to chase the boy? I don't mind meeting the guys half way, or making effort. But I won't be the only one. I had to call Mr. Valentine the in the first place.

Secret's Out

Mr. Valentine and I will be going out tomorrow night, or for those of you whom 3:20 is closer to morning then bedtime..tonight.

Unfortunately while he may be discrete about not letting his team members know that we're gonna go out...we was less discrete about actually asking me tonight. So now the worst people know...members of S's hockey....

Oh and S was only about 10 feet away on his cell at the time as well.

As I've said before its "frowned upon" for us (the bartenders) to date men's league team members...but I want to. I just didn't want the whole bar to know...but what's done is done..no changing it.

However I definitely have a bigger crush on Mr. Soccer and Mr. Torn Groin. But as of yet, do not yet know their level of interest in me...so I guess I'll take what I can get right. But I really like Mr. Torn Groin...he's so yummy.

I live for Wednesdays.

The Call

I called Mr. Valentine (formerly known as C, but I think nicknames are cuter).

I got the machine. Which I think is the best scenario. I gave him my number, and said call me. (Which by the way he hasn't called...it's only been 6 hours though). Now he has to take the lead. And that's what I like.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. So I get to see both Mr. Valentine, and Mr. Torn Groin (formerly known as I, but again cuter).

Looks like it'll be fun evening for me!

Mothers Don't Get To Choose

Mothers don't get to choose....

How do you answer that?

Seriously...how do you answer that?

After a very fun afternoon of cross country skiing with the ladies, I head back to party central. Party Central is where my married friends GK and TK just bought a cottage, therefore there are many well wishers. These well wishers include S's parents.

Just as TK is going to give some of us a tour, S and L arrive, and L comes on the tour with us, and "the parents." In a quite minute I find myself alone with S's mom, who looks at L and then at me and says "Mothers don't get to choose."

Seriously...how do you answer that?

At this point I don't remember what I said. There was much red wine drank over the course of the evening. Actually I probably just gave her a small sad smile. Because what do you say....

You're son's a lying bastard, and I gave him every chance in the world. I don't think so.

I'm actually pretty proud of my small sad smile...because my gut reaction was to burst into tears, and tell her to force her son into seeing what he's really missing...and again, I don't think so.

Mother's don't get to choose.

Seriously...how do you answer that?

Weekend Plans

My weekend plans hung in the balance today. If a certain hockey team won, I had the weekend off, and I was travelling home to visit friends and family, and go to a huge party Saturday night. If a certain hockey team lost, I'd have to work the next two days and not see friends and family, or go to a huge party Saturday night.

Weird huh? But that's how it goes when you work in a hockey bar during playoffs.

I however couldn't figure out which way I wanted it to go for one particular reason....S 'n L (Unfortunately not an abbreviation for Saturday Night Live). I believe as previously mentioned, I am not a fan of L, mostly due to the fact that she's a liar and a thief, but also due to her "interesting" relationship with S. To be honest I not sure how much I like S most of the time, as he's also a liar, so maybe they were made for each other.

Anyway moving on...

So this party is being thrown by mutual friends of S's and I. So obviously we'll both be there, however he'll be bringing L. So for awhile I was hoping for a loss so that none of us could go to said party and I would not have to deal with the awkwardness, that may or may not arise ( but I'm going with will, as well she's a bitch as can't help herself apparently, even though she was super sweet to me tonight, but that was fake, because she's just a big fat faker...yep I'm 7)

In the end my certain hockey team won with at whopping 5-0 score and so, party bound I am.

We shall see what happens next.

I have been told by a reliable source, that my northern friends are not fans of L. Which does make me feel better, as I'm the one they'd rather be out with. Hurray for me!

Ahh whatever its pretty clear the S I remember is just that a memory...a bittersweet memory.

Stay tuned for updates on just how interesting/awkward/fun/eventful/nauseating/and downright drunk this weekend is.

Valentines Downs and Ups

I suppose its to be expected, but I had 2 Valentine surprises tonight. But in order to understand them, here's the background story.

The Downs

For a few weeks before Christmas I had a crush on I who came in every Wednesday night with his Team. Sadly shortly after Christmas he tore his groin (ouch) and hasn't been back.

Tonight as K and I were eating 100's of those little talking hearts, I was saying how if I came in I'd give him the "kiss me" one. And then, for the 1st time in 2 months he walks in...yes that right...with a lady friend. Shit. She was pretty too, but kind of old looking. Ok so that may sound a little bitchy, but that's the singles girls prerogative on V-day right. We'll see what happens next week.

The Ups

Later in the evening. C come up the bar and asks if I have a pen and paper (obviously I do, what kind of bartender doesn't?). I then go about my business, but he's still standing there when I get back to the bar. He hands out the slip of paper, and says I'd really like to take you out on one of your nights off. Just then K comes over and asks whats going on, kind of let me off the hook from answering at the moment, she had no idea what was happening.

So now I have to decide if I want to go out with this guy. He'd be the 4th guy to ask me out from work, but the 1st I'd actually consider going out with. I just may call him. If I grow enough balls.

Also it needs to be secret, as its "frowned upon" by S for any of us to date one of the men's league hockey guys. However, I'm not actually to worried about S's rules as I'm pretty sure its frowned upon for Upper Management to "date" a lower staff member.

Like I said life is always a surprise...now I can look forward to Tuesdays for R, and Wednesdays for C and I.

You just never know.

Going to sleep smiling tonight.

V-day...right

So what single girl doesn't have a rant on Valentines Day. The random commercial holiday created by greeting card companies to boost sales in February. And then when you figure in all the fresh cut flowers that are flown here to Canada (the US and Europe) from Africa..that's right Africa...where precious fresh water is being used to grow roses for us instead of important crops like corn that could actually feed the local people....well you see where I'm going here. Oh right and then the flowers are dipped in chemicals to make them last longer, making them toxic and not smell as good.

Yes Mom you were right, roses did used to smell better.

But enough of all that.

Yes it sucks staying home single on V-day. Especially when all your very lovely girlfriends are in wonderful relationships. But me I'm not going to be home...I'll be at work. (Nope sorry no amazing date tonight) But at work my wonderful co-worker K will be my Valentine, as her wonderful bf is in Alabama (I'm bringing chocolate and those little talking hearts I love so much). Plus I'll be surrounded by dozens of single men...b/c anyone with a significant other will not be hanging around a hockey bar on V-day. So by the end of the night I plan on having many many honourary valentines.

I don't begrudge V-Day. I kind of like what it represents. Sometimes we do get so caught up in our lives, work, finding work, buying houses, moving, planning weddings, trips, kids....it goes on and on. So why not have a day that makes you stop look at the person you've decided to spend the rest of your life with (or in my case the next week with) and say I value you. You make me smile when I look at you and I'm so happy to have you by my side in everything I do.

Yep I may be single and a little cynical and at time even bitter (there I said it). But mostly I'm optimistic, and hopeful. I know one day I'll find a man that makes me smile when I see him I just haven't yet...and sometimes that's exciting.

You never know who's around the corner...like maybe R on my soccer team?

uh oh

F

So you remember when you were a teenager and your parents went away for a week? You had a party right....not my sister...she got a tattoo...that's a right a TATTOO!

It'll be OK. My parents knew she wanted one...and what and where, but still....I can't believe it. The were so worried about leaving her home alone for a week at 18, and she gets a tattoo...

I loves it.

I was such a good daughter!!!

So Dating....

Ok. I have been single now for how long? Six monthsish. So I suppose I have to date people, in the traditional sense of the world. And its definitely not as easy as I'd kind of hoped it would be. Not that I think that relationships themselves are easy, but I kind of thought/hoped that just the initial dating wouldn't be quite so hard.

For starers how do you meet people. Now its not like I'm not surrounded by men on a regular basis, b/c at my place of work I am. But to date I've only met one I'd want to go out with....unfortunately he tore his groin and won't be playing hockey for the rest of the season. Granted most of the men at my place of work are to old for me, so maybe not the best place...

And let me tell you about M who I was seeing/dating but am pretty sure that has ended.

Now I had a big crush on M about three years ago, yet way back then he had a girlfriend. But now he's single. So my good friend K set us up. She came along as a buffer on our first get together as I hadn't seen him in three years, and she and him were friends. As things were going well, she bailed, and the two of us chatted. We set up a date on our own for the following Saturday night, were he offered to drive the 2 hours to take me to dinner.

Now this date went well....well at least I thought so. We ate, we talked, we laughed...we came back to my place.....just for coffee I swear. And then he went home. Honestly I didn't want him to stay over, I mean seriously, what kind of girl so you think I am? However, we did sit next to each other on my love seat (how appropriate eh?). I laughed at his jokes, touched his knee, looked at him when he was talking to me, told funny anecdotes...and yet nothing. No return touching. I thought I gave him all the signals to kiss me...but apparently not.

That is about as forward as I can be. I am not one to make the first move. I don't like to chase the boys, I like to BE chased.

So I'm dealing with the fact that he's a little shy, and the opposite of any guy I've ever dated, but hey, looked how well those boys turned out. We had made tentative plans for last Thursday, but then I never heard from him. (Which really is fine as I had my fortune cookie job interview last Thursday and would have had to cancel). He did email me (yes that's right email) to say he'd been busy working at both his new job and his old job. I wrote him back to tell him about my job interview. And I haven't heard from him since.

So we're not dating right?

Not that I'm heartbroken or anything. We didn't even kiss. And I wasn't sure I had "the feelings", add to that the shyness, and the distance...its no great loss, but still it was exciting.

It's the possibility. I miss the possibility, the flirting, the butterflies.

I miss the butterflies.

Dreams

I woke up this morning incredibly pissed off at S. For what reason you may ask....I honestly can't tell you. That's right, he did something in my dream to make me mad. And now I'm mad in real life.

Weird how that works eh?

I don't like it at all. I woke up in a bad mood, angry and largely confused, while I tried to figure out exactly why I was feeling such animosity towards S.

Now I'm a little more calm, and understand that really my feelings are ungrounded. That while S was his usual crusty self yesterday, he did nothing to actually cause me to want to hit him like I did upon waking up.

It does work the other way though too. I've woken up in great moods from great dreams, that try as I might to have again, or to go back into, it just doesn't work. At least the sense of euphoria can hold for a little while...well that is until I go out into the real world and deal with the idiots.

So here's hoping for a happy dream tonight, something that leaves me warm and fuzzy while I travel commuter hell to downtown TO.

New Years Eve - Take Two

(I'm gonna apologize right now for the lack of paragraph definition at the end of this post...but try as I might, I could not separate them...stupid auto formatting!!!)

Okay, a continuation of the NYE story....

So after the day tour, the drinking began. After a very tough decision on what to eat for dinner, Marc, James, Kyla and I settled on a Mexican place, the best part, the $50 pitcher of margaritas. I have to say at first I was wondering if we would get our moneys worth. In the end we definitely did. This was the strongest pitcher of margaritas EVER! We even had to ask for the server to add more lime mix. In the end, Marc had to bow out of the tequila, but K, J, and I made a valiant attempt to finish it off. Wow. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. K actually had tears rolling down her face!

Now onto the party.

Now you may wonder why did I travel all the way to NYC for NYE and go to Times Square for midnight? I'll tell you. 1. you can't drink. 2. you have to be there at 3pm. 3. you can't drink. 4. you can't pee. 5. you can't drink. and 6. there's armed army guys everywhere and snipers on the rooftops...yes, that's right snipers, those crazy paranoid Americans. So a house party it was. And seriously, how bad does a party in the middle of The Village sound?

Yes, it was great night!

Following the Party, we had to travel back to Queens where we were staying that night. So just imagine the effort at getting a cab at 2am in NYC on NYE in the rain...yep pretty much impossible. I say pretty much only b/c we actually got a cab, about 5 mins after getting on the street, however, some guy in a wheel chair wanted it and being the nice polite Canadians + Kiwi, we gave it up. And then we tried for what seemed like forever before we gave up and got on the subway.

That night I had a whole couch cushion to myself! Read cushion, not couch.

The next morning we went out for breakfast back in The Village, at a place that had unlimited Mimosa's for $5! That's right $5. I think thats something that should be imported to Canada. What a great idea for bunch with the girl in the city....sigh.

That day K, M, J and I walked around Times Square and saw some sights before taking the most frustrating train ride to someplace near White Plains (but not actually White Plains, it was apparently much to difficult for our travelling partners...we'll call them C and G to tell us where we actually were going) After much kerfuffle, we finally made it to our destination a very nice house in the woods, by a lake, yes woods and water only an hour and half out of the city.

All in all I'd say this NYE is in competition for the best I've ever had....in competition with what I'm not sure...as I can't remember one at the moment that was nearly as fun....so from now on it's the best NYE EVER! Great Location, Great Friends and 2 (yes thats right 2) Kisses at Midnight, what more could a single girl want....expect maybe 3 kisses....

Interview - Post Mortem

So I think the interview went well. It was long which I think is better then short. I'll hear back in the next 1 to 2 weeks.

Keep your fingers and toes crossed!